Issue 03: Frontal Lobes & Revolution

Facing Chaos

I've been interested in the Russian Revolution lately—specifically the transition from Tsarist autocracy to Lenin’s regime and then to Stalin’s, where one authoritarian regime was simply replaced by another. What fascinates me is the philosophy behind how the Russian Avant-Garde movements emerged from this chaos, drawing inspiration from Western Cubism and Futurism to create their own art.

This rabbit hole actually started at an Italian art museum in London, where I became intrigued with how Futurism—with all its celebration of speed, technology, and dynamism—was aligned with fascist ideologies. The parallels to the present feel uncomfortably familiar.

What resonated with me most about these movements is that during periods of massive instability, art fundamentally shifts. The Russian avant-garde moved beyond asking "is this beautiful?" to the question "is this even art?" with Suprematism, Constructivism, and Rayonism. Art itself becomes existential.

The Post-Post-Modern

Now we live in what might be called a post-post-modern world, where nothing really means anything anymore and every artistic movement is simultaneously available to us. The “visionary” seems to exist primarily in the intersection of art and technology. I see contemporary artists imagining painted compositions through 3D modeling before even picking up a brush. Is this technological integration brilliant—or are we just outsourcing imagination?

As a designer by day, I'm drawn to how the Russian avant-garde incorporated typography and geometric forms—art serving a collective message. Design follows the principle that form follows function, but art seems to operate in reverse: function following form. Both approaches fascinate me…I'm still figuring out where I land.

The Technique Gap

I've been pushing myself to paint more portraits this month, trying to fill what feels like a fundamental gap in my skills. Growing up, I studied still life and surreal work, but I've always felt that missing the foundation of portraiture limits my ability to find my authentic voice - like my technical limitations are keeping me from accessing something deeper.

The Either/Or

Speaking of accessing something deeper—I'm turning 25 soon, and I'm grateful to live in a generation where traditional markers of "growing up" have become so unrealistic that we've redefined what adulthood even means. When nothing is affordable and the world feels increasingly inhabitable, the old scripts don't apply anymore.

I still feel pulled between two distinct life paths: one more settled, one more free. This internal conflict led me to Kierkegaard's Either/Or (mostly YouTube videos about it, since my attention span is admittedly fried).The book presents two characters defending opposing lifestyles: the "aesthetic" life of creativity, adventure, and freedom versus the "ethical" life of moral responsibility, duty, and critical reflection.

Each side sees the other as trapped. The aesthetic person views ethical life as small and limiting; the ethical person sees aesthetic life as an endless, meaningless search. Both have their appeal: complete freedom without responsibility, or contentment through fulfillment of duty.

His ultimate argument points toward faith—that regardless of which path you choose, everything is ultimately in God's hands.

Faith and Stick Figures

This brings up my complicated relationship with religion. My grandmother became a devout Christian after experiencing what she perceived a miraculous healing in her 40s. I spent years in Sunday School trying to feel that same connection, but faith never took root for me.

I remember one lesson where a teacher tried to explain God's omnipresence by drawing a small stick figure inside a larger one's stomach. For a moment, I almost grasped what they meant—and simultaneously realized how absurd it all was. Kierkegaard makes an interesting distinction between those who believe through personal experience and those who merely sympathize with religion from the outside.

Back to the Canvas

I attempted a large canvas this month and struggled through multiple iterations. The abstract work started feeling too commercial, so I'm digging deeper, trying to carve out something more authentic. I'm probably overthinking it, but maybe that's part of the process.

UP/COMING

Looking Ahead _______________________________________

My decision is indecision and not to put too much pressure on myself to get it all right. It will unfold in due time and staying present is all I can do.

CURRENT

▶ Song: https://open.spotify.com/track/6u6vaQoR0IXCWRSOP7h7D6?si=1e750d73ef4f4639